The Catholic Standard & Times - ‘God or Girl’ series is ‘good tool’ for discerning vocations

Seminarian, priest approve show — with reservations
‘God or Girl’ series is ‘good tool’ for discerning vocations

By NADIA POZO
CS&T Staff Writer

A&E’s recent reality miniseries, “God or the Girl,” took a look at four Catholic men who felt they might have a call to the priesthood, but were uncertain whether they had what it takes to become a priest.

The show has raised many questions about the discernment process: What is it? Why does one need to discern a vocation? What is someone supposed to discern, and what does it involve?

The miniseries, now available on DVD, debuted on Easter Sunday, and traced the lives of Joe Adair, 28, a campus counselor at John Carroll University in Cleveland, Ohio, who has been in the seminary twice and now is discerning whether he truly has a calling or is succumbing to family pressure; Dan DeMatte, 21, a sophomore at Ohio Dominican University who is involved in youth ministry and has an on-again-off-again girlfriend but still feels a tug toward the priesthood; Steve Horvath, 25, a highly paid consultant who left it all to become a campus missionary at the University of Nebraska in Lincoln, and Mike Leshniak, 24, a teacher, torn between his serious girlfriend and the desire to be just like his parish priest.

Richard Smith, a 23-year-old seminarian at St. Charles Borromeo Seminary in Wynnewood, believes the series captures the real struggle involved in discernment to the priesthood.

“It’s not just something we do on a whim,” Smith explained. “It’s a decision that doesn’t just affect the person discerning [a vocatioin] but also the family and the larger community. There are many factors involved when discerning.”

Smith knows that to be true from his own experience.

He was a high school senior involved in a relationship when he felt a strong call to the priesthood during a Kairos retreat. He visited many seminaries and talked to several seminarians. What he discovered, he said, is that “entering the seminary doesn’t mean you’re becoming a priest, it’s helping you discern.”

He decided to enter the seminary for college and continue his discernment there, but not everyone supported his decision.

“I had to explain it to my family. Some were supportive, some were not. I had to explain it to my girlfriend at the time. She was upset, but she was okay with it. When I announced it to friends and family, there was confusion. But in time they’ve become very supportive.”

During his past five years in the seminary, Smith said, he has changed: “The reasons for why I entered are different than the reasons why I’m staying.”

He is aware that God is calling him to love and serve the Church as a priest. He also knows that regardless of what state in life one is called to, choosing God is what is most important.

That’s why, although he appreciated what the miniseries accomplished, Smith said he felt that setting it up as if following a call to the priesthood was a decision between God or marriage was not really accurate.

God is who you are choosing, whether you marry, choose the consecrated or priestly life, or remain single for service to others, Smith said.

Father Chris Rogers agrees.

“Discernment is trying to discover the plan of God for your life, because God created us with a purpose,” he said. Father Rogers is the Archdiocese’s director of the Vocation Office for Diocesan Priesthood.

“The more you come to know Him, the more you come to learn about yourself and His plan for you,” he said. “Everyone desires to find fulfillment and happiness. The only way to do that is to figure out what God has in store for you.”

That’s why Father Rogers believes every Catholic man should consider becoming a priest — because some, in fact, have been chosen.

“The seminary is a place for a more focused discernment,” Father Rogers said. “The Church is saying that it has reason to believe that this man has a priestly vocation, but in time it will be proven. The seminary environment is where that will become more clear and concrete.”

Father Rogers likens discernment of a priestly vocation to what happens when a man and woman enter into courtship with the purpose of discerning whether they should be married. It doesn’t mean they will be married. Time will tell. Likewise, a priest represents Christ and he takes the Church as his bride.

“When you enter the seminary, you’re exposed to the wider Church,” Father Rogers said. “You begin to know Her. There is the struggle of the day-to-day living, like in a relationship.

“During that time, the question is: Do you want to serve the Church? That’s when the calling to the priesthood becomes other-focused. That’s how your vocation is tested.” Father Rogers continued. “The seminary is not the last decision. At ordination both — the man and the Church — say ‘I do.’”

Father Rogers would have liked to have seen the young men in the miniseries talk more about their prayer life — a crucial aspect of discernment —and see them visit a seminary, or at least speak to seminarians about their own discernment process. Those are the basic steps a young man takes when he is discerning whether to become a priest, he said.

But Father Rogers said he believes the miniseries “could be a good tool in the classroom to start the conversation about discernment.”

Through the web site — www.godorthegirl.com — youth leaders, high school teachers, CCD teachers, priests and parents may download guides for each episode, to help them engage young people in a discussion about discernment, and lead them to a deeper understanding of the need to discern God’s will in their own lives.

For more information about discerning a call to the priesthood e-mail Father Chris Rogers at FRCROGERS@adphila.org or call him at (610)667-5778. For more information on “God or the Girl” visit www.godorthegirl.com.

CS&T staff writer Nadia Pozo can be reached at npozo@adphila.org or (215) 965-4614.